Well we opened up the hate series with a clash of the titans.  Titans of terrible.  In a slap fight where both combatants are looking for someone to hold them back, Fordham and La Salle generated as much venom as a garter snake.  La Salle in particular had the distinction of barely registering on the 49erfanatics.com HateMeter, coming in at a paltry 1.  76% of reader respondents agreed, voting either 1 or 2 on the hate scale.  Of course there was 14% who voted them a 10 -obviously hipsters who are trying to be cool (or J Felt using multiple proxy servers to vote).

We at GTG sense the hate is soon to start flowing as we work past some of the usual bottom feeders and on towards some schools worth F-bombing.  Stepping into the batter’s box and digging in are the Hawks of Saint Joseph’s.  We’ll greet them in our customary style and knock them down with a brush-back pitch, of course.

First, the vital signs:

Mascot: Hawks
Founded: 1851
Location: Philadelphia, PA
Colors: Crimson and Gray
2009-2010 record: 11-20 (5-11 conference)
2009-2010 vs. Charlotte: Charlotte 95, Saint Joseph’s 58
All time vs. Charlotte: 5-3

NLP: So yeah, Saint Joseph’s. Actually let’s just call them St. Joe’s. A10 programs with possessive names based on Catholic saints get really uptight when you mis-abbreviate their names. Fun times to be had for all.

I’m not a fan of the Josies. It all starts with the hawk. I absolutely hate it. When we’re winning against the Josies, which hasn’t been often enough, it’s annoying and I want to smite it with the Lite Brite scoreboard. When we’re losing, I want to pluck each faux feather off of it and stab my eyes out. I also hate the way they rolled over for us this season. Coming off a three-game losing streak it appeared the Niners had righted the proverbial ship, hitting 56.9% from the field and 50% (12-24) from the Lutz-point line.

A much more appropriate mascot for St. Josie's

Ship not so righted as the Niners then proceeded to lose out. Literally. Those are words you never want associated with your team. So for that one night everything thing seemed right with the world again and it all came crashing down the next time the Niners took the court against George Washington. Wow, just mentioning the GW name almost made me put my keyboard through the monitor. I wonder if that’s a sign of some serious hatred coming up. We shall see.

Oh yeah, 49erFanatics.com HateMeter is buzzing. I’m entering all the data… 49erAlumnus has come up with a pretty complex formula here… working working… okay here we go. The HateMeter reading for Saint Josephine’s for me is 5.

J Felt, how do you feel about the Fawkes?

J Felt: I actually do hate the Hawks. I hate a lot about them, in fact. I hate that back in 2004, I picked them in my high school bracket challenge to win it all, and they proceeded to put me out of that precious $5.  At the time I was still a :gulp: Tarhole fan but I still maintained that bitterness as I went to college at Charlotte, despite not knowing that eventually St. Josephine’s Falconry School would become a regular opponent.

When we joined that A14 in 2005, Saint Jo’s was one of the first schools I hated. Because the damn Hawk. It’s not even

Yep, still a dinosaur.

a Hawk, it’s more like a mutated pigeon or dove or some other similar, harmless bird. Hawks don’t wear sneakers. They have vicious talons that tear flesh apart. In actuality, I have to give some props to the student manager that opts to spend an entire game flapping his arms like an idiot. Though, I would give the Hawk major props if it actually flapped both arms the entire game and didn’t wuss out.

I also think it’s stupid that the Hawk joins in on the team huddle. I’m starting to hate SJU as I write this thing.

What I also hate about Saint Joseph’s is how particular they are about their name. Trying having “UNC” in your name, assholes, then complain about people getting your name wrong.

I hate Saint Joseph’s, and Phil Martelli still looks like a dinosaur. My 49erFanatics.com HateMeter is registering at a definitive 6.

He DOES look like a dinosaur!

I leave to go to Vancouver for the Olympics, stay with JRitchie, and as I’m enjoying our visit, Charlotte goes and loses to Duquesne at home. (does anyone else remember how to spell that by saying ‘doo-kes-ney’?) Then we White-Out Xavier but get massacred regardless. Can we officially call an end to White-Out-ing Xavier? We’re 1-2 in those games and Dayton already did it Xavier. I think we should do something insanely radical, like a Neon Green-Out, or Plaid-Out (aka Al Borlan night), or Hot Girls Sit Front Row-Out. Those are winning ideas.

Needless to say, I came back to the East Coast disappointed. Maybe I should blame myself. I’m sure the players were thinking, “That guy who yells really stupid stuff isn’t here, why should we bother?” and decided to phone it in and save their best efforts for when I was in attendance. Also missed was the debut of the “Ginger Nation” sign, as one of our loyal readers, Pip, is doing his part to further the redhead race (is that really a good idea?) by wooing the crowd favorite GingerDuster. We at GTG wish him luck, and although success is unlikely, anything is possible. We were in 1st place at one time, remember?

Being at the Olympics got me thinking, what events would best suit our players?

Ian Andersen would be in curling, for obvious reasons. Shamari Spears and An’Juan would make a good two-man bobsled team. Dewhurst would do the aerials. DiJuan would tear up the moguls. Derrio seems like a speed skater. K.J. would be a great defenceman for hockey. And Phil Jones and Chris Braswell would make a formidable two-man luge squad.

We can’t leave Bobby out, of course. There’s no other place for him but Figure Skating. Have you ever seen his trademark Spin-into-Crouch and Scream? His form is impeccable.

Well, now that I’ve officially wasted your time, we need to discuss our Niners. We’ve lost three in a row. That’s rough. We’ve arguably been in a tailspin since the UMass game and we’re having a difficult time recovering. Whereas earlier in conference play luck was on our side, we seem to have run out and can’t seem to get our mojo going again. Tonight’s game is the perfect opportunity for our team to get back on their feet and remember how to win. No more imitating Mitchell Baldwin, DiJuan, play like you know how to.

Predictions are below. You know what to do.

D-Fo – The Niners really need to find their rhythm again after the past couple of weeks.  In optimism, with true green-tinted glasses, I’m gonna say that it finally happens. Charlotte 75, Chicken-Hawks 68.

HP – Martelli leaves Halton scratching his bald head on what it once was like to be significant… Niners 78, Hawks 64.

letsgoNINERS11 – Phil Martelli looks like a dinosaur.  WTF happened to Saint Joe’s? Charlotte 82 – Joe’s 67

J Felt – Charlotte 85, Saint Ho-seph’s 69. Braswell, Green and Spears all wake up and nom nom on some Hawk meat.

JRitchie – Charlotte narrowly avoids continuing its losing ways by topping the hawks with a minute to go sealing the victory. Charlotte 73 – St. Joe’s 69